Label-Maker

Gender is defined three ways: biologically (regarding outer/inner genitalia), chromosomally (XX or XY), and psychologically (how a person identifies). Sexuality is defined, traditionally, as heterosexual, homosexual, asexual, pomosexual, and bisexual; the list only continues to grow.

These two label categories are only the core of what is asked of a person, “How do you identify?” Each label implies certain criteria and expectations of the person claiming said label. However, more often than not, the label doesn’t “technically” fit the labeler. It is my experience that each person molds themselves to fit their chosen label, or vice versa. In some cases, the label is chosen by default… a process of elimination.

I was never asked to label myself until a few months ago. I was approached at a bar and asked “How do you identify?” My response was immediate: A lesbian.

Sure. It fits. Kind of.

What does it mean to be a lesbian? In simple terms: a person who identifies as female who is attracted to others who identify as female.

The problem being: I don’t necessarily identify as the societally accepted “girl.” I don’t feel male, either. So, what does that make me?

This thought process brought me to question what my identity truly was, if I needed to label it at all, and if others were having the same issues identifying themselves.

So, in order to aid in my process, I posed a request to a diverse group of people and gathered their responses below:

“Write a statement, honestly and thoroughly, along the lines of ‘I identify as (…) and what that means to me is (…)’ in regard to sexuality and gender identity.”

A.L.N.
I identify as a person who is constantly changing but I guess most of the time I just identify as a queer trans man, although I enjoy confusing people immensely. I’ve never really felt ‘female’ and I don’t feel ‘male’. To me that means that I’m able to just be myself. I don’t feel the need to hide my feminine side or my masculine side for anyone. I am attracted to people who were born with “female” as their assigned gender.

H.L.
I identify as a "straight" man. To me, that means that I am physically, and equally important, emotionally, attracted to females. Other than that, it bears no weight whatsoever in my life. I don't think my interests, hobbies, the way I dress or, specially, who I am friends with, should in any way have anything to do with my sexuality.

J.L.A.
I identify as Jessica, a 23 year old lesbian who is on the brink of having a mid-life crisis. To me, that means that I am solely comfortable with sexuality and being gay, but sometimes other shit just gets in the way, somehow. My sexuality is only a portion of what I really am. I identify as ME.

E.R.A.
I am a queer, multi-dimensional , person of color who has been “out of the closet” since the age of 5.
I am fierce and frightening depending on one’s perception and personal experience.
My gender is fluid, allowing me to ebb and flow through the dominant paradigm. By not having to adhere to patriarchal gender roles, I incite anger in some while titillating others. I identify as a monogamous yet flirtatious, queer, submissive, kinky switch.

Notice how none of these responses are a line or less? Identity means more than labels. It’s a combination of how a person looks at themself and how they are perceived by others. I’m still working on mine, but let me pose the question to you…

How do you identify?